It seems that we are constantly bombarded with sex. Whether obvious or not, and it usually is, sex
is everywhere we look. And it seems that everyone is doing it A LOT... in television, movies, magazines and billboards. Naturally
it makes you wonder…am I having enough sex? What do menopause and sex have to do with one another?
Despite what the media is passing off as normal sexual encounters…meaning encounters with virtual strangers,
every day, all day….which would be more than a bit unproductive to say the least even if it were true which
it isn't in normal adults.... there is no right amount or times a week to have sex. If you and your partner are happy
with your sex life, it is normal for you.
The operative words here of course are “you and your partner”.
If one or the other of you wants sex more or less often, you need to find a positive way to discuss this issue with
the other person. If you can’t discuss it with your mate... the person you should be most comfortable with, that could
be a red flag in itself. Perhaps there other issues behind this lack of intimacy and freedom to talk about things that are
personal or difficult to address.
A woman’s sexual desire and functionality is a lot more
complicated than a man's. An intricate blending of physical and emotional factors that is difficult to make sense of at times.
Menopause and Sex is even more complicated.
When we are younger, or in a new marriage/relationship
the sexual urge is usually strong. But sometimes those urges are not there due to other factors that the woman may
not be aware of. These factors could affect and even obliterate her sexual desire and it can happen at any age.
Many women who have been raped are left with fear and even guilt. They need counseling before they can
ever have a normal sexual relationship and if they don't get treated these feelings come out in damaging ways. Thanks to the
media, a woman's body image is often an issue. The relationship you have with your partner, daily stress and anxiety, STDs,
medication and more often diminish sexual desire. And that is true in both men and women. But many women just seem to
have a low sex drive without any of those dibilitating factors.
The technical term for a low
sex drive is hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Studies show that at least ONE THIRD of women from 18
to 40 experience it. Low sex drive in women is more than simply not wanting sex. With
true low sex drive, she not only doesn’t desire sex, she isn't interested in anything that involves the
erotic. Other women with this disorder may not have the desire for sex but desperately want to regain
it. They just can't and don't know what to do. But there are answers for women who want to feel sexy again.
A friend of mine used to dart happily out of the office once a month wehre we both worked. Just before she left,
she'd call her husband and say "Honey I'll be there in a couple of hours so be ready...". Where was she going? To
get a testostorone shot. She had a very low sex drive and that once a month shot helped her libido to the degree that she
claimed she would wear her husband out over the next few days after receiving the injection.
Studies are now pointing
out that testesterone alone may not be the answer, however Testosterone given in conjunction with oestrogen is proving
to be very effective for most women. Will it work for you? Again, talk with your doctor about menopause and sex and how
to increase your libido because sex can and should be an important part of your relationship. But testosterone may not be
the answer for every woman over 40 or 50. Menopause and Sex are Intertwined in a delicate hormonal balance in women
and when that balance is thrown off we need to find answers.
Aging presents many more challenges for
women. The drop in hormone levels can cause hot flashes and changes in genital tissue. Dryness in the vagina during sex, one
of the complaints doctors hear most can be caused by the lack of estrogen which often makes sex uncomfortable. And if
it is uncomfortable she is less likely to want do have sex. But there are treatments available so she needs to talk with
her doctor. Using an over the counter lubricant will help with dryness. Estrogen will help your body to properly lubricate
and bring back elasticity to the genitalia.
Menopause and Sex in Women Over 50
It's a well-known fact that while many partners are sexually active well into their 70's and even into their 80's, at
least 45% of this age group complain that sexual desire and activity is a problem. And according to the medical
community, that statistic may not give the complete picture because the percentage is derived from clinics and
offices where menopausal women actually complain about the lack of desire for sex. Many continue through life without
mentioning it to their physicians.
This is also common for younger women who have undergone complete
hysterectomies because of the hormonal imbalances it can cause. So, no need to panic. No need to think you are “different”.
Remember, there are things you can do about menopause and sex so be proactive if you want a more fulfilling sex life.
Apart from the notorious hormonal changes women experience, there is also a social change women endure. Women over
50 and even 40 are usually portrayed as grandmotherly or hags in the media. Anything but vibrant
sexual partners, while men are always seen as sexual, viril beings. They are seldom paired with women their own
age. Quite the contrary. Their partners are a good ten to twenty years younger. No wonder women of menopausal age or
older feel like a dried prune. That's how they are depicted everywhere they look. Overcoming that stereotype is monumental which naturally
would also affect sexual desire in the menopausal woman.
(On a personal note, I have good
news. Most men marry their age-appropriate counterparts. Women who are interesting, well-groomed, have their own
interests and who are willing to do new things)
As mentioned at the top of this article, woman's
sexuality can be complicated and you will need to consult a physician for answers if you have low sex drive or other physical/psychological
issues that interfere with your sexual desire and libido.
