Political Roast

Seriously, **Senator Reid** has a face of a Saint - A Saint Bernard.
Now I know why they call you the arithmetic man. You add partisanship, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T. And Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is soooo screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.

Speaking of the Speaker... **Nancy Pelosi,** hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot. Madame Speaker... want to make twelve bucks the hard way?

Pelosi says she's not partisan, but her constituents do call her Madame Pelossilini.

**Charlie Rangel**... still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He's the guy who writes our tax laws but forgot to pay taxes on $75 grand in rental income! So why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian Banker.

**Barney Frank** - he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider... he and Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system!

Let's all admit it... Barney Frank slobbers more than a bulldog on Novocain. I mean, how did this guy even get elected?
Oh, that's right... he's from Massachusetts . That's the state that elects Mr. Charisma, John Kerry -- man of the people!

You know, if **Senator Dodd** were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him.
Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire. (Update, guess you listened. So, thanks for not running again in Nov)
Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons . Even Rangel looks up to him!

Press Secretary **Robert Gibbs**, I really respect you... especially given your upbringing. All you've overcome... I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?

As for **President Obama** and his wife Michelle, who said during a speech that she was never proud of this country? The press had to spin that so hard we almost fell off the face of the earth.…

Seriously, since Obama was elected he’s been on an extensive apology tour for U.S. behavior. He also used more fossil fuel attending the climate warming summit meeting than 10,000 Americans use in a year. Any conservationists ever heard of tele-conferencing? And how ‘bout that fly over in New York?

They also say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't necessarily agree. Yes, it's true that when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring but I don't mind…except for the fact that he keeps it in his back pocket! SPEAKING OF ARROGANCE.... JUST PRAY THERE’S NO RAIN FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS OR HE MIGHT DROWN.

They say his mind is open to new ideas -- Unfortunately it’s so open they simply pass through it. Unless the idea’s from a conservative. Then he has selective hearing. He doesn‘t hear anything they say.

Obama lies a lot. So I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack. Maybe that's because during the election you couldn't even ask about his middle name!

And what’s up with a President going on national television to say a white cop acted stupidly when he was called to investigate a home invasion? Is he a commentator for a Chicago local news channel now too?

A lot of people are saying he hasn’t kept the promises he ran on. Like he was going to have an open government. There’s more secret voting and back door agreements in this administration than ever.

And Obama was able to set one more record... he actually lied more in 60 days than **Bill Clinton**.

**FOR THOSE THAT VOTED FOR "HOPE AND CHANGE"... BEND OVER AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOUNTY!**

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