1. Are you looking to "date" and have sex with many people you meet? Or are you looking to find someone you can share your life with? Because the steps and techniques are different.

Here, we'll concentrate on finding a life partner. If you are interested in just dating beautiful women or hot men, and having many sexual partners it's relatively easy. Finding someone to build a lasting

relationship with is more challenging and in most experts' opinions also more rewarding.

2. What kind of qualities do you bring to the table? I had a friend who started dating a very handsome younger man. She had a business, owned her own home, had a lot of interests and was a very charming person. The man she was dating had previously done very well as a head hunter in his own business but lately was spending more time on the golf course and his business was in decline. One day, she said point blank....This is what I bring to the table, and she told him. Then she asked what he was bringing to the relationship, He put his hand on his shoulder and patted it. She said he had to bring in an equal amount of benefits if they were to continue with their relationship. A bold move, but it proved positive. They are now married. She knew who she was and what she wanted.

Determining who you are before you set out on this journey can be enlightning. Are you a great friend to others? Do you cheat in business or your personal life or honest? Are you sensitive or analytical? Are you goal oriented or laid back? Are you a quiet person or the life of the party? Do you hold a grudge or do you forgive easily? Do you criticize but are unable to take criticism? Do you love children, animals? You get the idea here.

3. What kind of person are you drawn to? It's a known fact that men make decisions about a woman in less than 30 seconds. It takes women longer...weeks or sometimes months. Setting that statistic aside, is the person you are drawn to someone that makes you a better person or does that type of person make you unhappy after awhile?  A common misperception is that while opposites may attract, in relationships, opposites don't always make the best mates. People who have things in common, who have many of the same goals in life and genuinely like being together seem to last the test of time.

4. What kind of things do you like to do when you have time to relax? Do you love golf, tennis, surfing etc? Do you perfer to curl up and read a book?

5. Compromise. When you are making your list of qualities and attributes your desired mate should have, you also have to know where they rank on yur list. Integrity or religion may rank high while being athletic or height may not. For instance, M. thinks that his perfect woman has to have a great sense of humor and make him laugh. Farther down the list is having her own income. If she has a great sense of humor and most of the other characteristics etc that are on his list, he needs to make a decision early on if her not having a job or wanting to work outside the home is that important.

6. Determine where you are most likely to meet the kind of person you want to find. Open yourself to places you hadn't thought of before. If you have a hobby find clubs that cater to people with your same interest. If you have a group of friends, throw a barbeque and tell everyone to invite another single friend (even the married friends you have know people who are single). Sign up for E Harmony or Match.com. Attend openings, visit open air art fairs or concerts. In short, get out there. When someone invites you to a party...go! You may not meet the person of your dreams there, but you

may make a friend who does know him/her.